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[grivences]

“This is Robin. Leave one!”

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s. harrington, audio;

[retromix]

Robin, I think I'm homewrecking myself.

[grivences]

[ Launching right into it without a hello. Alright, we're doing this. ]

What did you do this time?

[retromix]

Oh my God. Okay. You know Billy is into me? I told you he told me that, right?

[grivences]

You told me, my eyes told me, the weird lady who lives downstairs told me. Yes, I know Billy is into you.

[retromix]

Well, now he's into Eddie too, which I knew was going to be a thing when I told him Eddie liked him back, but ohhh no! Steve doesn't know what flirting looks like! Tell Steve to stop running his mouth!

And now Billy likes him enough to jerk off into our shirts in a porn video because he misses us. I don't know why he misses me! I'm not his best friend he shares his every waking thought with! He probably just likes Eddie and I'm in his peripheral vision ... Whatever, my point is I just got a notification for his latest video and he was high as hell and way too obvious about everything.

And I encouraged it by giving him a shirt and that's how I'm a self-sabotaging homewrecker.

[grivences]

[ She just assumes that "best friend he shares his every waking thought with" is hyperbole because of course it is, what else could that possibly mean? ]

Okay, first off: Steve, stop running your mouth. If that's what you want to hear. Then there, there it is.

Secondly, take a deep breath. This isn't the end of the world. I'm sure this isn't the first time you've been dating one person while another person was also into you. It's just... Maybe the first time they're also into each other, too.

[ In some ways, this is the opposite of a problem. If anything, Steve is spoiled for choice. ]

You need to answer some questions.

Number one, do you like Eddie? I'm going to assume the answer is yes, so skipping number one.

Number two, do you like Billy? Do you like him the way you like Eddie? Do you like him more than you like Eddie?

We can figure this shit out, but you have to know where you stand.

[retromix]

I love Eddie.

[ He wouldn't be as into him if he didn't, wouldn't pretend about that. ]

Billy's hot, he's a good guy when he's not being a dick for the hell of it or an asshole to Max. I like him.

I didn't know Billy liked Eddie!

[cheerleader]

do you have any plans tonight?

[grivences]

Aside from further musical education, not really.

Why, what did you have in mind?

[cheerleader]

I need to get out of this apartment. And I don't know

make some bad decisions maybe?

I thought you could come have fun too.

[grivences]

Oh really now?

I feel like if you've got your mind set on making bad decisions, it'd be irresponsible of me not to tag along.

[cheerleader]

Oh yeah, it definitely would be.

You don't mind clubs though, do you? Or bars?

[Chrissy has been to neither. She is dying to correct this.]

[grivences]

[ Neither has Robin, to her great shame. ]

Will they let us into a bar or a club? I guess, according to my ID I'm 54...

s. harrington, text;

[retromix]

[ Sent shortly before this. ]

I'm heading over to Billy's for dinner. If I don't text you in the morning ...

Never mind, I'll text you in the morning. Touch base.

[grivences]

Godspeed, sailor.

Don't fuck this up.

[retromix]

Not gonna lie, I'm bricking it. So nervous.

[grivences]

You've gone on a million first dates before. You'll be fine. You've already cleared the first hurdle; you know he likes you.

[retromix]

Yeah, I just.
Once he beat my face in and then Vecna made him all evil, but even before that he made me feel like I was one step behind whatever he was thinking.

[grivences]

Are you worried he's going to keep trying to get a leg up on you?

Has he been like that at all since you've all been here? You said he was different, outside of Hawkins.

s. harrington; audio

[retromix]

Robin. It's me. It's Steve.

[ Except the voice she's expecting is an octave higher, even if it has all the cadence Steve usually uses. ]

... Something happened.

[grivences]

Steve?

[ Does he have a cold or something? ]

What is it, what's wrong? You sound... off.

[retromix]

I've got boobies. I'm a girl, Robin! A girl. I have no dick!

[grivences]

[ What. ]

Video. Now.

[ This is something she needs to see for herself. ]

[retromix]

[ Steve switches to video, balancing the phone on her desk. She steps back, the features of her face softer and more rounded than usual, hair longer (but still fabulous, thank god), and if she makes a hot guy she makes an equally hot girl: the weird silky, light blue lingerie top she wears isn't supporting her breasts at all, doing little but emphasising them as she turns around, arms out and eyes wide. She has her jeans on but looks like she's fighting a losing battle with her newfound curves because the button is undone and her hips are fighting their way free. ]

Nothing Billy gave me fits! How is that even possible?!

[grivences]

[ At once, Robin's eyes go wide and her cheeks turn pink. She was halfway through sipping from a soda can, but she starts choking and sputtering as soon as she sees Steve with boobs. ]

Holy f— You're hot. H..How?! What the hell did you do??